If Lagos Traffic Was A Person

One of the things we writers have to do is inhabit people’s skin and tell their stories. 

Or maybe things too.

Today, I am LAGOS TRAFFIC.

I am the culprit.


I am the standstill that makes you sweat miserably

beneath your

twenty four thousand naira

1 million braids wig.

I am the offender that brings perspiration
As you juggle baskets of tomatoes
And a husky voice says you should forget,

your 20 naira polymer change.


I am the hand that kills you sof’ly sof’ly

You main-island employee,

Till you surrender to Uber-living,

Or finally rent that overpriced house on the island.


I am the kidnapper who steals your children from you,

6am you go, 11pm you come.

20 years later, it is Ekaette they call to walk them down the aisle,

Not you.


I am the one that makes you pray

‘Red Sea-parting’ prayers

As He did it for Moses, 

Because “6am is too early for any human being to wake up”, you say. 

And now your boss has had enough.



I am the Deity the Yellow buses worship

TrafficButter, Traffic Radio, Google Maps,

They swoon at my name.


Yesterday, I overhead some of my regulars

Say they are moving to Canada real soon,

I guffaw.

You aren’t going anywhere.

Have you forgotten all that we shared?


But, yes,  I’ll admit it!!!

I’m sabotaging myself.

I strangle my regulars

I drag them to red-rimmed eyes

And dark eyebags

But you wouldn’t blame me,  would you? 


He started it…


Photo 1 – @maxdotng on Instagram 

Photo 2- @ayowilliamsphotography on Instagram

One comment

  1. Enny · October 15

    Lmao!! We wouldn’t blame traffic o.
    I love this piece Demi.
    I love as you gave Lagos Traffic a persona.
    Well done

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