Storytelling Friday with Chineye. 

‘Reading allows us live a 100 lives without moving an inch. ‘

Here’s a non-fiction piece by Chinenye Junne to turnt your Friday. She’s hilarious too…don’t say I didn’t warn you!


…So I got suffocated today.

After scanning the whole tomatoes section, I spotted my favourite malam bent over a basket of tomatoes. Standing up, he saw me approaching and gave me his signature missing tooth smile.

However, today was not one of our overly friendly days as prices of things in the market were not friendly too. So, we bargained furiously, his smile disappeared and was replaced by a slight frown. Eventually, we agreed at a price but his frown had deepened.

While he packed the tomatoes and peppers, I stood by his side to avoid touching stories. I shouldn’t have.

First, I thought what I perceived was from the mud but with each second, the smell became stronger. I moved away from his side but it seemed like the smell followed me, so I covered my nose with a handkerchief. 

I really wanted to know if my mind was right so I fixed my gaze on the malam. He was no longer angry, I could have sworn I saw him smile. When he handed me the bag, I wanted him  to know I was suspicious so I kept looking at him while I covered my nose. Next, he burst into laughter.

‘Sorry madam, I no know when tusa comot. No vex’

He said amidst laughter. I was so angry when I left. If I didn’t get those tomatoes at that price ehn, I could have left them for him. He should have refused to sell to me at that price, instead of that nonsense.

Lesson learnt: over familiarity brings farting on the face.

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